Santaphobia | Christmas Eve was unsettling
'Father Christmas came to give you a kiss on the forehead goodnight when he visited last night'... yep, that was the trigger. From this point onward, I was scarred. I perceived Santa to be more of a trespasser than a magical presence. My parents innocent words which were said with good intentions - to make me feel excited, in actual fact made me feel the complete opposite going forth.
The following Christmas, I found myself crying on Christmas Eve and unable to sleep... my mum had to leave a piece of paper at the bottom of the stairs that read 'please don't come upstairs, the girls are very excited'- just to put my mind at ease. All I wanted from Santa was for him to drop the presents as far away from me as possible and to sling his hook. I can only imagine the thoughts going through my parents minds.
On other occasions, I would have serious nightmares regarding Santa and his antics. The sleeping aspect of Christmas Eve was something I dreaded, loved the actual day but when It came to sleeping, I just wasn't able to mentally prepare myself for what I thought was a stranger entering my house. It was all too much. The nervous adrenaline rush pumping through my body made me feel nauseous.
One year, on Christmas day - my dad pretended to go to the petrol station - he'd actually gone to dress himself in a Santa Clause outfit.. I'm sat in our living room that backs out onto the garden, my sister and I peer outside to find Santa walking out from behind the shed whilst waving at us. What was meant to be a 'magical' moment, resulted in my mum taking my sister and I upstairs, shutting her door and away from the equation - because the fear was too much.
Just an added extra - I also had fear of the tooth fairy, I would leave my teeth under the front door mat.
As you can tell, I was a strange one.
Have a good Christmas!